Wo Ai Ni Mommy

This week my husband and I watched an documentary on Chinese adoption. "Wo Ai Ni (I love you) Mommy" is the story of an 8 year old Chinese girl who is adopted by a family on Long Island. The family has 2 biological sons and a 3 year old Chinese girl who was adopted when she was an infant. I have to admit I found the film unsettling, for many reasons. I realize that adoption is not easy, especially on a young child. Eight year old Fang Sui Yong speaks no English when she meets her new Mommy. Her new mom speaks very little Chinese. Thankfully the filmmaker is Chinese and does a lot of translating between the two. I don't know why, but the adopted mom in the film brings with her to China a bevvy of flash cards and starts trying to teach the poor kid English in their hotel room. This is a huge struggle for the child and ultimately brings her to tears. I am not sure if this was the right thing to do while they were still in China. the poor kid is completely overwhelmed and this just adds more stress to her already fragile state.

Throughout the film we see various struggles of this little girl trying to adapt to her new life. Ultimately she totally acclimates and forgets how to speak Chinese all together despite her parents enrolling her in a Chinese language program. We see her making new friends, going to glamour girl parties, and dancing at her older brother's Bar Mitzvah party. While I recognize these rites of passage it just seemed so plastic. Is this what life in America is all about? It just seemed so shallow to me. I guess we are all entitled to our opinion. This girl is undeniably loved by her new family. The documentary spans approximately the first 18 months of her new life in America. She has flourished into what appears to be a happy girl. I wonder what lies beneath the surface and what demons she will deal with when she gets older.