Home Study Officially Complete

Yesterday I had the final meeting with our social worker. We made some minor changes in the home study write up she had sent us via email. Once she makes the corrections she will notarize it and send it off to our agency. It will take them approximately 3 weeks to review it. Another milestone achieved. Once the agency gives us the OK we have to get fingerprinted again by homeland security and get them to sign off. When that is complete it gets sent to our agency and then if I am not mistaken- it goes to Beijing. Very cool. The social worker was also pretty positive that the timeline should pick up a bit. As the song goes "The waiting is the hardest part."

My husband and I had dinner with close friends of ours last night. One of them actually lived in China for 2 years back around 1994 and taught English. He gave us lots of information on how to learn Chinese. He does not speak fluently anymore but he remembers the basics. He suggested watching Chinese films with subtitles also. I woke up around 7 this morning and turned on the TV to find Jet Li's movie "Fearless" on. It's - you guessed it- in Chinese with English subtitles! Hmmm, coincidence maybe ? Not sure but it made me smile. He also said that the Chinese are horrified when they meet Chinese children who can not speak or understand the Chinese language. So many come back to China to visit after being adopted by Americans. People in China call them Banana people- yellow on the outside but white on the inside. Not a complement I am sure. It did make me think- how is our child going to struggle with her adoption and identity as a Chinese-American? It's something that has been heavy on my mind really since we saw the movie "Adopted." I just want to do the right thing for my daughter- I don't want her to be hurt in any way because of her ethnicity. I know, it's something I can't control but it hurts me already. I can't even imagine how she will feel when faced with racial issues.

Today I treated myself to a manicure/pedicure/massage. The owners of the place I went to are Chinese- at one point I sneezed several times in a row. One of the owners said to me "In China. when you sneeze like that we say that somebody is missing you." I thought that was kind of nice. There must be a lot of sayings and old wives tales in the Chinese culture. I wonder if I could find a book or something to research those? I also wondered about all the Chinese women working in the shop. Some are quite young and some are middle aged. What was their story? How did they wind up in New York? Did they miss China? Who back home was missing them? I had so many questions but did not dare ask for fear of being rude.

The Chinese word for the day :

座右铭
zuòyòumíng
/ motto /

I thought I would be clever and google the motto of the day and this is what I found:

"We're all dealt a different hand in life. All you can do is play the cards you're dealt."- B. Knoblach

All I could think after seeing that was ....I am playing. I've got a new hand and things are looking good right now. All I am hoping for is a full house. (hee-hee)

The last social worker visit has been scheduled !

I spoke to our social worker today. She has finished our paperwork and will be emailing us a copy by Monday. Our last visit with her (pre-adoption) is scheduled for next Friday. Our job will be to review the paperwork with a red pen and check off any errors before her visit. Once that is complete she sends the paperwork to our agency for review. I want to jump up and down for joy but it might be a wee bit premature for that. The agency goes through the paperwork with a fine tooth comb before it gets sent to China. Of course once in China the paperwork goes through several more scrutiny checks before being deemed acceptable.

I guess I am kind of in shock. Every step we make brings us closer to our child. The timing is quite appropriate. It's spring and we are on the eve of celebrating Passover and just a few days away from Easter. It's a time for remembering our hardships and celebrating our victories. Getting through our paperwork isn't as important as the slaves being freed from Egypt or the resurrection of Christ, but it feels pretty good.

Adopted: The Movie

I haven't had much to write about lately. Our paperwork is still being reviewed in Albany. Once our social worker gets it back we will schedule our last meeting and the dossier will be sent to the adoption agency and homeland security for approval. Once approved it will be sent to China.


Today my hubby and I went to a special screening of "Adopted:The Movie" a film by Barb Lee. It was amazingly powerful and thought provoking. Defintely not for the faint of heart, it explores the reality of adopting children of different races. Children searching for identities and personal heritage in addition to relating to their adopted families. They should make viewing this film madatory for anyone who is adopting a child.

http://www.adoptedthemovie.com/adopted-trailer/


Make sure you have tissues handy. A big part of the movie centers on a young Korean-American woman adopted when she was an infant 32 years ago. Her parents and brother are white. She was raised in the pacific northwest. All her parents had to do were file for adoption and pick her up at the airport. They did not research her culture or background. They just wanted a daughter. Her story details the internal and external struggles many adoptees and their families deal with. There is something always missing and it's not dealt with. It's truly a heartbreaking story but a story that must be told.