Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Priorities and Perspective

The past few years for me have been quite introspective. Some lessons can only come in time with experience; both joyous and heartbreaking. One of the biggest and positive impacts on my life of course was meeting and marrying a wonderful guy. The heartbreaking have been losing several people I love dearly and dealing with infertility. One of the most hopeful events has become this adoption journey. I think over the course of these years I have grown as a human being and become not only more knowledgeable but more focused on what is truly important in life: love and family. Having a great job and making a big salary is awesome but these things are just temporary and as we all know money does not buy happiness.

The company I work for is going through massive layoffs. It's hard to deal with living your life not knowing if you will have a job next quarter, especially when planning on having a family. I have some how surrendered myself to the fact I can not control the decisions of the superiors I work for. It is what it is. I go to work every day- give 100% and go home. Thankfully, my direct supervisor appreciates me as a worker and is very honest about how our business is changing etc etc.

I guess what I am trying to say in this long winded post is that I am saddened by the people I work with, some of which I call good friends. They work so hard in making others look bad. I guess it's insecurity or fear of the unknown- whatever. I go about my merry way taking care of business and trying to avoid the various land mines set out before me. This makes me think: how do I raise a child so they do not become insecure? Not just at work, but in life. I read all this stuff about adopted kids having issues about being different from their parents and adopted families. Is this nurture or nature? Does some one's genes really predict how a person is? I guess I just want to be one of those parents who has the courage to steer my chickadee in the right direction with all the proper tools and preparation so when it's time for her to take off she knows the way.

I know, we don't even have a log in date and I am already worrying. LOL.




Chinese Word of the Day

练习
liànxí
"/ exercise / drill / to practice (language, sports)/"

2 comments:

Elisa...life as we know it. said...

It must be woorying at work, especially when some of your co-workers are playing games like that.
You have a huge influence on your child growing up, don't worry about insecurity issues yet.

nerdgirl said...

I know, but I am a worrier by nature. I trait I am working hard to over come. It's such wasted energy to worry about things that are beyond my control. Thanks for your comment : ) have a great weekend!