Oh Tannenbaum (Oh Christmas Tree)

Today was the second meeting with our social worker. My hubby did not need to be present for this one. She basically reviewed all the stuff we spoke about in our first meeting and asked for clarifications on a few items. She gave me a "to do" list of all the documents she needed copies of and we talked about the online classes we were taking. We discussed the recommendation letters that we needed from non-relatives. Another task I found daunting. How do you ask your friend to write a letter to a stranger telling them you are a good person, fit to be a parent an provide examples of our 'goodness' as human beings? It was weird, but I made my requests and we are just waiting for the letters to come back.

After the formalities I decided to be a total yenta and ask our social worker about her adoption experience. She used to work for a school district but after she and her husband adopted their second child she decided to switch gears and become and adoption social worker. They were able to have their first child naturally but something happened and the weren't able to have anymore biological children. Ironically she and her husband are different faiths (he's Catholic and she is Jewish- they are raising their children as Jews). Much like my husband, she was totally excited about the whole Christmas tree experience the first year they were married. She said she even hosted tree trimming parties ! I got a kick out of hearing her decorating stories about the hand made glass blown ornaments she collected. She and her hubby decided to skip they Christmas tree when the kids came along because they were being raised Jewish and it was just easier for them.

I am still not sure about that aspect yet. I am no longer a practicing Catholic but I love having a Christmas tree. It is one of the few memories of my childhood that brings me sheer and unmitigated joy. It was also one of the rare times I saw my mother truly happy. Both she and my Gram got such a kick out of Christmas. I swear my mom's sole purpose during this time of year was to spoil everyone and she took great pleasure in doing so. I guess it's a family trait because I too love to spoil everyone now. It's my way of paying it forward. Let's face it- it's a great tradition even if there isn't always a lot of money to go around there is always a lot of love and food and laughter. Our house is now designated as the family get together spot on Christmas Eve ...and as dysfunctional as some family members may be my house is the sanctuary. No drama is allowed. Ironically it is peaceful every year (knock wood).I would find it kind of hard not to share that joy with my child.

Even though my uncle passed away several years ago (a major competitor in the Christmas spoiling tradition with my mom) my aunt (who is Jewish and is holding tight to the spoiling ritual herself) still puts up a tree every year with my cousin (who is also Jewish). They do so in memory of him and I think that's kind of cool. Maybe our Christmas trees are not so much a religious symbol but more of a symbol of the Christmas spirit - that beautiful time of year when people realize what is truly important in this crazy world: Peace and Love. Which, the last time I checked, had no specific religious affiliation.