Each journey begins with a single step

After years of infertility issues my husband and I have made the decision to adopt a child. I have started this blog to help document our journey and hopefully hear from others about their adoption experience.

In August of this year my husband and I went to a workshop for an adoption agency that specializes in adoptions from China. We learned of this agency through his brother and wife who adopted a little girl in 2006. We had researched domestic adoption and were concerned about the rights of birthparents. I personally discovered my own adoption records in 1999 after my mom passed away. The man who I thought was my father actually adopted me when I was 5 years old. I know the name of my birthfather and started the nightmare search of trying to find him but stopped myself. I was filled with a plethora of emotion. Maybe he didn’t want to be found. Maybe he was dead. I knew he had a wife and other children. Maybe he never told them about me. I could affect his life in a negative way by exposing the truth. My want and longing for a man I had never met was heartbreaking. I know it may sound selfish but I do not want my child to go through that anguish. As a parent I don’t want to worry about my child being taken away from me in any way.

Chinese adoptions are different. Most Chinese children placed for adoption are abandoned by their parents. They are left in public places and often have no record of a family. Abandonment is commonplace because of the one child law imposed by the Chinese government. Regardless of its frequency it is also illegal therefore children usually have no information on them when found. If the child is lucky enough to be taken in by the police, hospital or governmental agency and placed in an orphanage her picture is displayed were she was found and any family member has 3 months to claim her before the government severs all family rights.

With that in mind my husband and I applied to adopt from China and were accepted as eligible candidates. We have paid the first installment of the adoption fee and have begun compiling our dossier for the Chinese government. The dossier includes (but is not limited to) original copies of various documents such as our birth certificates, marriage license, employment verification letters, health verification letters signed by our doctors, home study completion and social worker interviews. All documentation needs to be notarized. It’s a huge undertaking. We spoke to a social worker last week who had been through this process personally. Too bad they don’t require the same stringent documentation for birth parents. But I digress. All of this will be worth the effort if it means China will honor us with the most precious gift of all: a child.

So our journey has officially begun. The paper trail has started and we are dreaming of the day we get our referral for a child. I wake up every morning wondering if our daughter is out there. I don’t know where she is or what she looks like. I can only hope and pray she is warm, fed and loved by someone until we find her. In the meantime I read all I can about China and her culture. I watch National Geographic and the History channels hoping to get a glimpse of her hometown wherever it may be. I read adoption stories of other American families who have travelled to China to adopt. They all tell of the ancient Chinese proverb about the red thread. “An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break.” I sit at my dining room table and stare out the window and wonder if our thread is reaching her. Does she know that two people a world away already love her and are waiting? Is there an angel watching over her for us until we arrive? We can only pray and hope.