Yeah, the waiting is the hardest part...

The final approval from homeland security/immigration finally came last week. The letters deem my husband and I eligible to be international adoptive parents to one female child from China. This letter (one for each of us) grants us permission to bring a child to the United States and make her a citizen. My husband was home when the letters arrived. He called me in the office to tell me about this last step in the approval process. My eyes filled with tears of joy and my attempts to remain composed were futile. Thank goodness most folks were on vacation so I could calmly make my way to the ladies room to fix my make up without any fanfare or prying questions. It’s hard keeping quiet about one of the most important events in my life when I am at work. Unfortunately, with all the layoffs going on I do not need anyone knowing my personal business. I have seen many moms lose their jobs for taking “approved” maternity leave and asking for flexible work arrangements.

As I write this, our application is being reviewed at the Chinese consulate. Once that is complete our whole dossier will be mailed to the Center for Chinese Adoption Affairs (CCAA) in Beijing. They will review it, hopefully will find no errors and give us a log in date (LID). Our lives will be tied to this date as we wait. Last year the wait time for a referral was about 39 months because of the Olympics in Beijing. Chinese adoptions almost came to a standstill. Now that things are picking up again the wait time has been reduced to 31 months. Out social worker was confident that we’d be looking at around 24 months by the time they caught up. Technically there is a good chance that our daughter has not even been conceived yet. As abandoned children make their way through the system, the CCAA reviews each case and matches the children to prospective parents. The Chinese take great pride in this matching system and it seems to be a well kept secret on how they actually do it. They look at pictures of waiting parents and their profiles and somehow fit a child who matches not just their personalities but health backgrounds as well. It is completely fascinating. In my head I am hearing the old Calgon commercial: “ancient Chinese secret.”

While we are patiently waiting my husband and I are both finishing college degrees: his in economics and mine in education. I started cleaning out over stuffed storage closets as we beginning planning to move our home office downstairs. It’s amazing how much junk a couple can accumulate after 9 years of marriage. We both have pack rat tendencies, holding on to things that need to be thrown away or donated. What we should do is have a yard sale and put the money away for our trip to China. I am trying to remain positive about the waiting thinking we have plenty of time to prepare for our child. Most couples only get nine months!

It’s funny how the thought of becoming a parent has affected me. Now that the paperwork has been completed I have switched into an awareness mode. I pay even more attention to world news, the environment and educational issues. I find myself constantly thinking “How can I be a better person for my child?” It makes me think about the movie As Good As It Gets with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. At one point in the movie, Carol (Helen Hunt) asks the self absorbed Melvin (Jack Nicholson) to give her a complement. Jack looks at her and says “You make me want to be a better person.” I can totally relate.

The Chinese word of the day

旋转
xuánzhuǎn
/ whirl /