草案
caoàn
"/ draft (legislation, proposal, etc.) /"
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The Paper Trail Continues.....
We finally received the fingerprint cards from the local adoption agency a few days before Christmas Eve. We dutifully went off to get them completed at police headquarters. The officer handling our fingerprints remarked “Oh it seems you have done this before” as she pressed my fingers one by one into ink and onto the card. I laughed and told her no this was my first fingerprinting session but I do watch Law and Order. She was not amused. My husband sighed and rolled his eyes. Now don’t ask me why, but we only brought two of the fingerprint cards with us to be completed. The agency sent us four.We figured they sent us extras. We received four cards and no instructions. Nice. When we came home, my husband went trolling around the internet and found the requirements for the cards. You guessed it. We needed two each. The Chinese proverb “Raise your sail one foot and you get ten feet of wind” comes to mind. I should have raised my sail and asked for clarification on the cards. A few days later, we had to find the time to get away from work, go back, and get the others completed. Another lesson learned. Tonight we finally finished the application, which included the following:
1. Two personal statements from each of us explaining why we want to be parents
2. A copy of our last income tax statement
3. Our individual W2 forms because hey, the income tax statement wasn’t enough
4. A picture of the two of us together
5. Four fingerprint cards
6. Payment for seven hundred dollars because someone has to actually read and all this information even though we are not adopting through this agency they are getting paid to submit our fingerprint cards for a background check.
7. Personal details about our parents and siblings-not just names and addresses but marital status, number of children and what they do for a living.
8. Consent forms to allow them to use our story and/or personal pictures on their website (we said no thank you to that one).
I understand the importance of screening potential parents but some of the stuff they ask is borderline silly. Why do they need to know where my sister works? How does that play into my adoption qualifications? I don’t know. I am not a child psychologist or adoption specialist but some of this stuff seems so bizarre. Regardless, we filled in the form with all of the necessary information. I drove down to the 24-hour post office in the freezing rain to mail it out. I almost slipped walking to my car on the icy driveway. For a split second, I thought “OMG I can’t go out in this! Then I thought but I must do this for my child! The weather will be even worse tomorrow and that might mean it could be another two days before it gets mailed.” I got in the car and laughed. I don’t even know this kid yet. She might not even be BORN and she has me driving out into the freezing rain. The mere thought and hope of the possibility I have a child out there somewhere has turned me into a determined protective mama bear of sorts. I wonder if this happens with other adoptive moms.
The Chinese New Year starts on January 26, 2009. It will be the year of the Ox. According to a few websites I was reading, this year is a conservative year-one of traditions and values. It will be a slow but steady year. We will see stability, growth, and diligence will pay off. The year of the Ox is a year of harvest. We will reap what we have sown. I can only pray what we have sown is sufficient.
1. Two personal statements from each of us explaining why we want to be parents
2. A copy of our last income tax statement
3. Our individual W2 forms because hey, the income tax statement wasn’t enough
4. A picture of the two of us together
5. Four fingerprint cards
6. Payment for seven hundred dollars because someone has to actually read and all this information even though we are not adopting through this agency they are getting paid to submit our fingerprint cards for a background check.
7. Personal details about our parents and siblings-not just names and addresses but marital status, number of children and what they do for a living.
8. Consent forms to allow them to use our story and/or personal pictures on their website (we said no thank you to that one).
I understand the importance of screening potential parents but some of the stuff they ask is borderline silly. Why do they need to know where my sister works? How does that play into my adoption qualifications? I don’t know. I am not a child psychologist or adoption specialist but some of this stuff seems so bizarre. Regardless, we filled in the form with all of the necessary information. I drove down to the 24-hour post office in the freezing rain to mail it out. I almost slipped walking to my car on the icy driveway. For a split second, I thought “OMG I can’t go out in this! Then I thought but I must do this for my child! The weather will be even worse tomorrow and that might mean it could be another two days before it gets mailed.” I got in the car and laughed. I don’t even know this kid yet. She might not even be BORN and she has me driving out into the freezing rain. The mere thought and hope of the possibility I have a child out there somewhere has turned me into a determined protective mama bear of sorts. I wonder if this happens with other adoptive moms.
The Chinese New Year starts on January 26, 2009. It will be the year of the Ox. According to a few websites I was reading, this year is a conservative year-one of traditions and values. It will be a slow but steady year. We will see stability, growth, and diligence will pay off. The year of the Ox is a year of harvest. We will reap what we have sown. I can only pray what we have sown is sufficient.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
One Step Closer
We are hoping to receive an information packet from the local adoption agency today so we can continue working with our social worker on our home study. This adoption process is such a racket. Once we are through it and we have our daughter I am seriously contemplating getting more involved somehow. My husband and I have already joined a local group specializing is families with children adopted from China. There is another group my social worker is involved with that she encouraged us to check out. They aren’t solely involved in Chinese adoptions but all adoptions per se. There is also a conference next year that we plan on attending in Maryland. This conference is hosted by our “official” adoption agency. I am registered to start school again next spring to work on another master’s degree. This degree will be specializing in adolescence education. My goal is to become an English teacher so I can get away from corporate America once we have our daughter. (I also plan on writing a book about this whole experience.) Hopefully I will be able to take classes in Mandarin for my foreign language pre-requisite. Life is just speeding by while we patiently wait for a child. I guess it’s best to keep busy especially during this process.
As of today we still need to be fingerprinted and have our adoption statement signed and notarized. My husband is crazy busy at work with the holiday season so these two tasks most likely will have to wait until after Christmas. I mean, I can run over to police headquarters on my lunch hour but he’ll have to wait for a day off. Once these tasks are completed we can fill out the local adoption agency’s application and send them yet another large fee because even though we are not using them for our adoption they must be paid to process the background checks and file our fingerprint cards. That whole background check, fingerprint process thing takes between 6-8 weeks. In the meantime we have to mail all of our already notarized documents to our social worker (employment letters, doctor’s statements, all financial statements (bank accounts, investments, mortgage, car lease, and credit cards), good citizen letters from the police and adoption statement and recommendation letters from non-relatives. I am sure there is more; I just don’t have “the list” in front of me. I am still not sure how we are going to pay for everything. We will find away. We always do. Thankfully we both still have good jobs when many folks are really struggling.
I think the coolest thing about the whole aspect of waiting to become a parent is the perspective. I sort of had it before but it’s so much clearer now. A wise woman once explained to me there is never a ‘right’ time to have a child. You never have enough money or enough time but some you manage. You make it work. I totally get it now.
As of today we still need to be fingerprinted and have our adoption statement signed and notarized. My husband is crazy busy at work with the holiday season so these two tasks most likely will have to wait until after Christmas. I mean, I can run over to police headquarters on my lunch hour but he’ll have to wait for a day off. Once these tasks are completed we can fill out the local adoption agency’s application and send them yet another large fee because even though we are not using them for our adoption they must be paid to process the background checks and file our fingerprint cards. That whole background check, fingerprint process thing takes between 6-8 weeks. In the meantime we have to mail all of our already notarized documents to our social worker (employment letters, doctor’s statements, all financial statements (bank accounts, investments, mortgage, car lease, and credit cards), good citizen letters from the police and adoption statement and recommendation letters from non-relatives. I am sure there is more; I just don’t have “the list” in front of me. I am still not sure how we are going to pay for everything. We will find away. We always do. Thankfully we both still have good jobs when many folks are really struggling.
I think the coolest thing about the whole aspect of waiting to become a parent is the perspective. I sort of had it before but it’s so much clearer now. A wise woman once explained to me there is never a ‘right’ time to have a child. You never have enough money or enough time but some you manage. You make it work. I totally get it now.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Chinese Word of the Day
I've already fallen behind on my word of the day posts! Ugh... Today's word is quite appropriate:
学期
xuéqī
/ term / semester /
学期
xuéqī
/ term / semester /
Here's to lifelong learning ! The spring semester is right around the corner so I got a little chuckle from this one. Now I just have to learn to pronounce it : )
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Chinese Word of the Day
Since my hubby and I began our adoption journey we have promised ourselves to learn Chinese. I know this is a task of monumental proportion but it is necessary. I thought it might be a good idea to blog more frequently and include a "Chinese word of the day" to help ourselves learn and encourage anyone who may read this blog and know anything about the language to chime in. So today's word is:
上午
shàngwǔ
"morning"
上午
shàngwǔ
"morning"
Friday, December 12, 2008
Oh Tannenbaum (Oh Christmas Tree)
Today was the second meeting with our social worker. My hubby did not need to be present for this one. She basically reviewed all the stuff we spoke about in our first meeting and asked for clarifications on a few items. She gave me a "to do" list of all the documents she needed copies of and we talked about the online classes we were taking. We discussed the recommendation letters that we needed from non-relatives. Another task I found daunting. How do you ask your friend to write a letter to a stranger telling them you are a good person, fit to be a parent an provide examples of our 'goodness' as human beings? It was weird, but I made my requests and we are just waiting for the letters to come back.
After the formalities I decided to be a total yenta and ask our social worker about her adoption experience. She used to work for a school district but after she and her husband adopted their second child she decided to switch gears and become and adoption social worker. They were able to have their first child naturally but something happened and the weren't able to have anymore biological children. Ironically she and her husband are different faiths (he's Catholic and she is Jewish- they are raising their children as Jews). Much like my husband, she was totally excited about the whole Christmas tree experience the first year they were married. She said she even hosted tree trimming parties ! I got a kick out of hearing her decorating stories about the hand made glass blown ornaments she collected. She and her hubby decided to skip they Christmas tree when the kids came along because they were being raised Jewish and it was just easier for them.
I am still not sure about that aspect yet. I am no longer a practicing Catholic but I love having a Christmas tree. It is one of the few memories of my childhood that brings me sheer and unmitigated joy. It was also one of the rare times I saw my mother truly happy. Both she and my Gram got such a kick out of Christmas. I swear my mom's sole purpose during this time of year was to spoil everyone and she took great pleasure in doing so. I guess it's a family trait because I too love to spoil everyone now. It's my way of paying it forward. Let's face it- it's a great tradition even if there isn't always a lot of money to go around there is always a lot of love and food and laughter. Our house is now designated as the family get together spot on Christmas Eve ...and as dysfunctional as some family members may be my house is the sanctuary. No drama is allowed. Ironically it is peaceful every year (knock wood).I would find it kind of hard not to share that joy with my child.
Even though my uncle passed away several years ago (a major competitor in the Christmas spoiling tradition with my mom) my aunt (who is Jewish and is holding tight to the spoiling ritual herself) still puts up a tree every year with my cousin (who is also Jewish). They do so in memory of him and I think that's kind of cool. Maybe our Christmas trees are not so much a religious symbol but more of a symbol of the Christmas spirit - that beautiful time of year when people realize what is truly important in this crazy world: Peace and Love. Which, the last time I checked, had no specific religious affiliation.
After the formalities I decided to be a total yenta and ask our social worker about her adoption experience. She used to work for a school district but after she and her husband adopted their second child she decided to switch gears and become and adoption social worker. They were able to have their first child naturally but something happened and the weren't able to have anymore biological children. Ironically she and her husband are different faiths (he's Catholic and she is Jewish- they are raising their children as Jews). Much like my husband, she was totally excited about the whole Christmas tree experience the first year they were married. She said she even hosted tree trimming parties ! I got a kick out of hearing her decorating stories about the hand made glass blown ornaments she collected. She and her hubby decided to skip they Christmas tree when the kids came along because they were being raised Jewish and it was just easier for them.
I am still not sure about that aspect yet. I am no longer a practicing Catholic but I love having a Christmas tree. It is one of the few memories of my childhood that brings me sheer and unmitigated joy. It was also one of the rare times I saw my mother truly happy. Both she and my Gram got such a kick out of Christmas. I swear my mom's sole purpose during this time of year was to spoil everyone and she took great pleasure in doing so. I guess it's a family trait because I too love to spoil everyone now. It's my way of paying it forward. Let's face it- it's a great tradition even if there isn't always a lot of money to go around there is always a lot of love and food and laughter. Our house is now designated as the family get together spot on Christmas Eve ...and as dysfunctional as some family members may be my house is the sanctuary. No drama is allowed. Ironically it is peaceful every year (knock wood).I would find it kind of hard not to share that joy with my child.
Even though my uncle passed away several years ago (a major competitor in the Christmas spoiling tradition with my mom) my aunt (who is Jewish and is holding tight to the spoiling ritual herself) still puts up a tree every year with my cousin (who is also Jewish). They do so in memory of him and I think that's kind of cool. Maybe our Christmas trees are not so much a religious symbol but more of a symbol of the Christmas spirit - that beautiful time of year when people realize what is truly important in this crazy world: Peace and Love. Which, the last time I checked, had no specific religious affiliation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
